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Cynthia Ramirez posted a blog postCritical Thinking
Critical thinking is a part of the formal education process. Critical thinking is a very important component in the teaching and learning method. Almost in all professions, included is " critical thinking " as a module being taught for them to arrive into definite conclusions, and explore different kinds of ideas.Critical thinking is a way of deciding whether a claim is always true, sometimes true, partly true, or false.> Cynthia.…See More
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The Freedom of Forgiveness
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." --Mahatma Gandhi
Life is filled with heroes and villains. And in order for these heroes and villains to exist, victims must exist. At one point in our life, we have been victimized in one way or another. Whether it was from a backstabbing friend, a conniving colleague, a reckless lover, an abusive family member, a lying politician, or a mean teacher.
Victimization can also come from someone we know so well. Someone so close to us. That person could be your best friend, your boyfriend or girlfriend, and your husband or wife. We feel betrayed because harm is the last thing we expect from someone we love so dearly.
There are many ways we become to "feel victimized." These feelings manifest into jealousy, disappointment, depression, and anger; if these feelings are not curtailed at the very beginning, it could turn into, worst of all, hatred. We play in our minds over and over again how this person has betrayed us, and we could no longer trust this person. When this trust is gone, love is gone. Hatred looms over us.
We want to shout out, "How could you?" We want to scream out expletives like, "F@ck you!" The pain becomes unbearable. We think of running away. So far far away that no one would find us. We stay in the room for days, even months in the house. We think of murder. We think of ending it all. The pain is just so unbearable.
I have had many instances when I felt victimized and betrayed. I gave everything. And when my hope and dreams were taken away, I felt everything was taken away as well. I wanted to nurture that hate that was growing inside of me. I wanted to run away. I wanted to end everything.
I listened to music that made me feel the pain even more. The more I listened, I thought, the more I would come to hate and get over it. I played in my head over and over again how much I detested those who have crossed me. But the more the hate grew, the more I could not get over it. It consumed me.
How could I forgive when it hurts so much?
So that brings me to the quote by Mahatma Gandhi:
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."
This quote tells me that the solution to my own feelings, emotions, and situation was me. It is not from the environment around me. I can seek solace in other people, and I can even go away, but that would just cloak the true feelings I have inside. As this quote says, the weak can never forgive. How weak am I that I cannot forgive those who trespassed against me? Have I not learned anything from my past experiences? I realize now that most people cannot move on because they cannot forgive. They cannot forgive the other. Worse yet, they cannot forgive themselves.
Today, I declare: I forgive those who darkened my path. I forgive those who have betrayed me. I forgive those who lied to me. I forgive those who made me feel insecure. I forgive those who told me I couldn't do it or make it anywhere. I forgive those who looked down on me. I forgive those who didn't care. I forgive those who tried to take my dreams away from me. I forgive those who made me cry. I forgive those who took me for granted. I forgive.
But most of all, I seek apology from all those whom I have not been the best to. And in the same token, I hope that forgiveness will be granted.
And even if I cannot get that forgiveness, I shall forgive myself. I forgive myself for the things I didn't do well. I forgive myself for not being my best all the time. I forgive myself.
And in this forgiveness, I will rise again. I have been given the chance to do it again, to live life again. I have been given another chance to make things right. I found my freedom in Forgiveness. Forgiveness, after all, as Gandhi said, is an attribute of the strong.
Comment
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Comment by Chris Delacruz - AIEPRO on November 17, 2011 at 6:11pm -
Hi Anaideel! Great to see you in here! Acceptance is one of the key!
I have a follow up post that I have not yet published. Hope to post it soon as well.
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Comment by anaideel on November 17, 2011 at 2:40pm -
,Hi Chris.. I love this! So true. After reading this I found myself smiling and then suddenly I found myself joining the group. Its so hard to forgive specially when you're still in pain. It maybe hard but time heals all wounds. I guess the moment you start to forgive someone is the time you started to heal the wound. Acceptance is also a very good ingredient to forgive. We have to accept that things like this happen and understand that what is done is done.
I'll wait for your follow up post.:)
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Comment by Chris Delacruz - AIEPRO on October 29, 2011 at 7:16am
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It starts with letting go, and accepting the fact that some people are not made to be perfect. They too will learn some day. It starts in letting go and allowing others that they are capable of making mistakes as well.
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Comment by Rina Masdal on September 26, 2011 at 5:02pm -
there is this one person that really annoys me.She doesnt really do anything bad.. she just rubs me the wrong way, I just hate the way she always boast about herself and the way she talks about herself all the time. I always comment on her and there was a time when she did something that really hurt me.. i just wanna learn how to forgive her and be friends but how??
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Comment by Chris Delacruz - AIEPRO on June 23, 2011 at 1:06pm
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Hi Melvin, I believe that the humble is the strong. :-)
I actually have a follow up post to this, which is still in draft mode. It has been stalled for several months, as I have not found the right moment to pour out my heart. And guess what? The follow up post is about LOVE, unconditional love that is.
It's great to have you join in this conversation of Forgiveness.
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Comment by Melvin Vitug Moraga on June 23, 2011 at 12:52pm -
Hi Flor, yes it is a character of the strong. But more so of a humble.
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Comment by Melvin Vitug Moraga on June 23, 2011 at 12:50pm
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Hi Chris, the right kind of love is independent of the worldview, it is the direct opposite not of hate but of selfishness. It is also extremely easy to preach and talk about it but very difficult to practice unless one is liberated from darkness.
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Comment by Chris Delacruz - AIEPRO on June 23, 2011 at 12:37pm
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Hi Melvin. Yes, love is the final factor that actualizes forgiveness. That love, in its essence, is unconditional.
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Comment by Melvin Vitug Moraga on June 14, 2011 at 5:02pm
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Ah, forgiveness does not come easy. People may talk about it and share their views until their blue in the face but without proper understanding of what love is it would be more difficult to understand and practice it. Inability to love stifles forgiveness. It is essentially love that makes forgiveness possible. When one learns to love the right way it heals broken relationship and makes life livelier. Without it complete and genuine forgiveness are just mere illusion.
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Comment by Chris Delacruz - AIEPRO on May 11, 2011 at 8:05pm
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Hi Flor, forgetting is more difficult for me. The brain, scientifically, stores the memories. I can only think of two ways to forget major events: amnesia and alzheimer's. The memories still linger. But once you forgive, that memory no longer becomes bitter. It becomes a learning experience that shapes us to be better individuals.
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